Today we are opening the polls for our championship game. Both teams fought hard to get here in what was a wide open and crazy tournament.

The last two standing are Danny’s Barber Shop and Menauhant Beach. Danny’s is the underdog coming in, but they have embraced that role throughout the tournament. If Danny’s can pull this out it will be a story for the ages.

Menauhant Beach is no surprise since it has two big things going for it. First, it is a place that many 02536ers grew up with and have many fond memories of. Second, and this may be even more of an advantage if you believe the rumors, it is the team that Davisville Factor picked to win it all.

What is going to make this interesting is to see if the fact that it is now tainted with hippie sand affects the outcome. At this point is a vote for Menauhant in some way a vote for Woods Hole? This situation is enough to make a person twitch and fall over with blood coming out of their ear.

Vote early, vote often…

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Anyone else get the feeling this person went around their house taking pictures of everything in it, then they put all the pictures up on one big wall creating a massive collage. Once the collage was up they walked 10 paces away from it, blindfolded themselves, spun around twelve times and just starting throwing darts in the general direction of the wall. Fourteen darts stuck into the wall in random places and that is how they came up with the list of items they would sell on craigslist. Only in the 02536 folks.

There is simply no other rational explanation for this ad. It absolutely boggles the mind. I honestly feel like a reader of the go2536 wrote and published this ad just as goat fodder. It is as if this ad was tailor made by god himself for our craigslist ad of the week feature.

It almost feels like cheating, but let’s go ahead and break down the list…

1. VHS tapes-various titles. $1.00 each

About the only thing VHS tapes are good for these days is if you find yourself fighting off a mass murderer all horror movie style and you manage to knock him out with a vase, you can break open a couple of VHS cases and use the tape as rope to tie him up with before he wakes up. Other than that, yeah you can hold on to those tapes, I’ll keep my dollar, thanks.

2. Cookbooks-mostly Rachel Ray, including her latest one. Prices vary

It is a well known fact that “Rachael Ray is a communist spy who has infiltrated our country and the kitchens of millions of civilians in an effort to relay confidential intelligence to the dead, former leaders of the United Soviet Socialist Republic (USSR).  These leaders lie in suspended animation via liquid nitrogen waiting for the right time to rise again and crush the democracy we hold so dear”. (click here for more on this) So thanks, but no thanks.

3. WWE Wrestlemania 23 license plates. $2.00 each.
4. Kids WWE belt. Still in box! $5.00
5. WWE Carlito action figure. Still in box. $5.00

You mean for a mere twelve dollars I can outfit my fleet of El Camino’s with front plates, send my kid to school as an authentic WWE champion and I also get an effigy of the greatest hero to come out of Puerto Rico since Roberto Clemente. SOLD!

6. Khol’s and Avon lotions and bath wash. Avon USED only 2 times but Khol’s neveer used.. $1.00 each.

Ummm… yeah… ok. Wow. If we buy this do you lower them into our hole in a bucket? Put the FU@%ING lotion in the basket! One word… CREEPY!

7. A couple doggie Jackets. Fits the size of a pug. $2.00 each.

Why is it that wackos with tiny dogs are the only ones that put jackets on them? You never see a Great Dane with a fleece vest and booties. There needs to be a study done on this. I feel like we could learn a lot about human nature if we could isolate the “dress up my dog” gene. Maybe even cure whatever debilitating disease Paris Hilton was born with.

8.Ladies Reebok sneakers, size 9. Still in box. $20.00

I am having second thoughts  about this post. I am 87% sure any woman with a size 9 could kick the shit out of me. If anyone ever wondered why I don’t use my real name, this post is your answer, I have no urge to take a trip to the emergency room to have a size 9 Reebock removed from my colon.

9. 1 Pink martini glass shaped candle holder. $1.00
10. Denim mini backpack with Tinkerbell on it. $5.00
11.Framed 8X10 picture of White Owl. taken in Plymouth. $5.00

These three items are a microcosm of the entire ad. It is absolutely impossible to list three more totally random things. You could have a computer loaded with data consisting of every item on earth, running a program to come up with the three most ridiculously random, unrelated items and it would come up with these three… every single time.

12.AC/DC long john shirt. Size Large. $5.00

FU%K YES!!!!

13. Hot Topic pants, female size 13. $5.00

I just want to take a moment to let anyone who reads this know that the goat is on vacation, my name is Mike Jones, I live in Alaska and I am filling in for him today. I repeat this was written by MIKE JONES, not the goat.

14. Pink Floyd hoodie. Female $5.00

Have I mentioned that my dream girl rocks Reeboks, Hot Topic pants and a Pink Floyd hoodie? So hot.

East Falmouth once again proves it is the greatest craigslist town on earth folks.

p.s. Voting will begin for the 02536 Tournament championship game tomorrow!

The Cape Cod Times is reporting that Menauhant Beach is not going to have real bathrooms this summer. Apparently the trailer with the bathrooms has been removed and will be replaced by Porta Potties.

The story actually starts out positively, reporting that Menauhant is slated to receive 22,000 yards of fresh sand, but quickly turns sour. Let’s get to breaking it down…

(click here for the entire story)

After hearing a report that the town got a bargain in placing 22,000 cubic yards of fresh sand on the East Falmouth beach, selectmen pressed beach Superintendent Donald Hoffer on why a trailer equipped with men’s and women’s rooms had been removed.

Selectman Brent Putnam criticized having a “nicely nourished beach and no bathhouse.”

Selectman Putnam should be commended here for not drinking the good news kool aid. Good job Brent.

“We’re taking away from the people of East Falmouth who use that beach,” said town meeting member Adrian Dufresne, a former selectman and beach committee member. “For a lousy $15,000 or $18,000 we’re going to deny people a benefit at that beach.”

Another steward of the center of the universe that should be commended.

Do you notice how we aren’t as fired up as we should be about this? Here’s is the thing, normally we would be outraged. In any other circumstance we would be preparing for war over this bathroom injustice, I mean they would never dare to remove the bathrooms at Old Silver right?

Well unfortunately Brent and Adrian and everyone else is missing the biggest problem this story exposes. Take a look at this…

Menauhant Beach was nourished with spoils from a dredge project in Woods Hole. The bulk of the $265,000 price tag was paid for through a grant by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, which needed the Woods Hole harbor dredged to make way for a research vessel.

What the fu%k!? They slip this shit in at the end like it’s a footnote or something? Who the hell approved this? We don’t want Woods Hole sand all dirty hippying up the 02536! This is outrageous, people’s feet are going to be growing birkenstocks on them after a stroll on the beach! It’s going to smell like patchouli from Green Pond to Kenyon’s!

My god who cares if you have to crap in a porta potty? That will be the least of our problems when we are growing dreadlocks between our toes and granola bars are falling from the sky! Is it too late to take it back? Have our children already voted for Ralph Nader?

This has to be some kind of conspiracy, where is the outrage? Could you imagine what the Wood’s Hole reaction would be if we dumped 22,000 gallons of kale soup on their community center?

I can’t take it, if anyone would like to join me I’ll be spending the rest of the week transporting this tainted sand back to the Hole where it belongs.

This is like if you found out that your sister is having your worst enemies baby. I don’t know if I will ever be able to look at Menauhant the same, I mean I’ll still have to deal with it a few days a year like Thanksgiving and Christmas, but other than that our relationship is probably pretty much over.

Ugh… I feel like I just got a blood transfusion with blood donated by Derek Jeter…

p.s. voting for the final four ends today at 5 p.m.

We called for action (in this post), the stewards of the 02536 answered the call and we righted a wrong! The offending website has seen the error of their ways and East Falmouth has been vindicated! Victory is ours! Let us fill the streets of the 02536 to drink Heinekens, dance and eat linguica for three days straight! This is a historic day for the zip code!

The center of the universe has once again proved that we will not be messed with, the rest of the galaxy is on notice, our throne is safe!

Viva la 02536! Viva la 02536!

The Sweet 0253sixteen is fun and all, but we need to get back to doing what we are supposed to be doing here, representing the center of the universe. Our main responsibility is to seek out injustice and misinformation about the 02536 in order to expose it and to shed light on stories of greatness in the Caligula of the peninsula.

Today we have two stories that need to be told. The first is not a new phenomenon but it is one of the ongoing fights we face as a zip code… Ballymeade and their deep conspiracy to reject the code and not admit they are located firmly in the 02536.

In the midst of our ever widening 025threesearch we came across yet another rotten apple on the compost pile of rejection that is Ballymeades treatment of its zip. A post at one of the most god awful, carpetbagging websites we have come across a website run by understanding people who admit their mistakes is perpetuating the myth.

Since we are stewards of the center of the universe, we have done our part to debunk the lore of Bullymeade by posting the truth in the comment section of said post. Click here to visit the post in which the crime takes place, we urge you, the citizens, to get involved by commenting about this grave deceit. Let’s hit them with outrage, let them know we demand the truth about the 02536 and send a message to all other outsiders in the process. A message proclaiming that the stewards of the code will be there on the front lines to meet any disrespect head on!

UPDATE: The 02536 army has succeeded in reversing this injustice!

This next story is one of 02536 triumph. Of the little man thriving in the center of the universe and doing the right thing when they outgrow their humble beginnings. The Cape Cod Church on Teaticket Highway is a grass roots operation that started like most in the 02536, with humble beginnings. The Enterprise reports:

Their first service, he remembered, was held in the living room of their condominium with just the two of them making up the congregation. “We skipped the music, opened a Bible, and took an offering,” he said.

The next week some friends drove down from Norton. The following week, more people came. A few months later, they rented the basement of the Bennett Plumbing building on Rose Morin Drive in Falmouth.

Five years after that they purchased a property on Teaticket Highway and held services there.

By 1999, they had outgrown the facilities again and constructed a new worship center, a 3,500-square-foot addition, where they currently hold services.

“We started to grow and we never stopped,” Mr. Feldott said. Every Sunday, he said, about 600 people show up for three services, part of a congregation of about 1,000 people. The regulars are asked to park down the street at Falmouth Lumber, so there are parking spaces available to newcomers. “

Warms the heart doesn’t it? You know what keeps the heart warm? The Cape Cod Church has outgrown its facility, so what are they going to do? Pick up and move to some other place? Build a church in Ballymeade and tell everyone they are in North Falmouth? No. They did what people who know who they are and where they came from do, they didn’t mess with the worlds most perfect recipe for success: Address + 02536 = Awesome Sauce:

Mr. Feldott had just finalized paperwork to purchase 10 acres between Currier Road and Plum Hollow Road, Hatchville, across the street from the Barnstable County Fairgrounds.

“In some ways, when I look (at the property) I see the youth ministry. I see open space, and ball fields, and outside events.”

Now that is what I am talking about. A congregation born in the 02536, grows in the 02536 and stays in the 02536. A story like that is enough to warm the heart of the most reptilian of Ballymeadians.

Side note: If you’re wondering what it is that has made the Cape Cod Church grow so fast, check this out…

Mr. Feldott gave three reasons for their exponential growth: the music, the message, and the people.

The music is a group of about 20 musicians, including a brass section, called the Worship Team. They have professional quality audio and video equipment and a computerized lighting system.

Professional quality audio? Computerized lighting system? Holy shit, they are putting on Pink Floyd style shows in that place? Jesus Christ I need to get down there, no wonder they are outgrowing their venue!

Do you think they’ll take in a goat with a potty mouth who takes the lords name in vain while describing their services?

The Great Eight round proved to be a most heated affair. (Updated bracket to the left) There has been quite a few accusations of foul play going around. The fact that people can vote as many times as they want has led to rumors of ballot stuffing.

Here is the official response from go2536 management… get over it! There is a reason we said to vote early and vote often. This is not “most likely to succeed” in Lawrence Junior High, this is a cut-throat competition in the hood.

It is an even playing field out there for everyone, if you want the free shirt bad enough to be completely non-productive at work while stuffing the ballot, then you deserve it as far as we are concerned.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s move on to the final games so that we can get back to our regularly scheduled programming (this shit is taking forever, huh?). The remaining teams all have one thing in common, not one was a favorite coming in. (They are all also in The Davisville Factors Bracket… hmmmm…)

The leaderboard has stayed pretty much the same with the Davisville Factor comfortably out front and Stevie K. in second. The only difference is that Sean M. has emerged into sole posession of third place.

In game one of the final four we have a battle of long standing little guys in the community. Probably the two most constants in the 02536 are haircuts and booze, let’s see which takes it.

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Game 2 features the only geographical location left, Menauhant Beach, going up against, what else? Booze.

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The first round of the Sweet 0253sixteen is officially over and it is time to decide who will make the final four.

There were a few surprises in the opening matches and it looks like we are going to have some hotly contested games in this next round. Click on the image to the left for a full size view of the updated bracket.

Let’s recap the action shall we? In the East Bracket the #1 seeded White Hen came out and did what it was supposed to do against the Great Bay Motel. You just can’t expect 24 hour snacks to lose in the first round. (We will see a distinct pattern of alcohol related victories in this round by the way).

Game 2 saw R.J.’s Variety easily stomp out Homestead Ln. While it is nice to cut through, you can’t buy booze on Homestead.

In an upset for the ages, Danny’s Barber Shop defeated the number one seeded Seacoast Shores. This was the biggest upset since the Miracle on Ice. Danny’s is the feelgood story of the tournament so far.

Golden Sails came out of the gates hot and destroyed the Dump in a rout. When a team can go out and get 76% of the vote in a game against the Dump, they have to be put up there with the favorites to win the whole thing.

In the West Bracket we saw our only booze related loss as Kenyon’s Market went down in a stunner against Menauhant Beach. I guess voters went with the first place they got to second base over the establishment where their buyer bought the wine coolers that led to the make out session to begin with.

J.R. Brody’s had an easy victory over Trotting Park Rd. Yeah, ummm… booze.

The only street to advance to the great eight was Central Ave. as it defeated Moonakis Cafe. You have to believe that not being open year round killed Moonakis here. I mean if they ever expect to make a good showing in the big dance they are going to need to establish a mandatory off season workout program.

Although the final game was not a shocker as far as the outcome, it was a bit surprising that Barrett Real Estate didn’t put up more of a fight against Three Way Liquors. The goat really thought Barrett would show they belonged in with the big boys.

In the go2536 Bracket Challenge, the first round scores have been tallied and the leaderboard looks like this:

1. The Davisville Factor (40 pts. Perfect Score!)
2. Stevie K. (35 pts.)
3. 5 players tied (30 pts.)

Bringing up the rear in dead last is none other than Insane Tony with a paltry, anemic, I mean just awful 15 pts. Way to go Tony!

Alright let’s fire up the polls for the Great Eight! In the first match up we have a battle of Teaticket convenience, White Hen Pantry will be taking on R.J.’s Variety.

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Game 2 features two long standing institutions as Danny’s Barber Shop continues it’s Cinderella run against Golden Sails.

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The third battle in the Great Eight will see battle hardened Menauhant Beach face off against the newcomer J.R. Brody’s.

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Last but not least we have the war of the East Falmouth big dogs. Central Avenue is going to be put to the test by the ever popular Three Way Liquors.

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Polls will be open until 5 p.m. Tuesday, may the best 02536ers win!

Here we go with the West Bracket opening round. Remember voting is open in the East Bracket until Saturday at 5 p.m. click here to vote

Remember, vote for whichever you believe represents everything that makes the center of the universe such a glorious zip code, the tournament outcome is in the hands of you, the stewards of the 02536.

In the opener we have a battle between neighbors, this is the 02536 version of BU vs. BC. The illustrious Kenyon’s Market is taking on Menauhant Beach in a match that will have Central Ave. families turning on each other a la the Civil War.

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The second game is a Teaticket grudge match between a traditional powerhouse and a newcomer. Trotting Park Rd. is vying to end the cinderella dreams of rookie J.R. Brody’s.

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In game three we have what is known as the road of the goat, Central Ave. looking to crush the dreams of the finest breakfast place in the land (and lone Waquoit team to make the tourney), Moonakis Cafe.

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The final match up of round 1 features two East Falmouth institutions. This one promises to be a heartfelt fight given the loyalty many feel to each of these business’. The offices of John Barrett Real Estate will be hoping their long standing stewardship in the center of the universe is enough to lead them to victory over 3-Way liquors. As we all know it is hard to beat booze in March on the Cape.

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The polls for this bracket will remain open until Sunday at 5 p.m.

Alrighty folks it’s tip off time, let the tourney begin and good luck to those who sent their picks in! (if you haven’t click here for instructions, you have until 9 p.m. tonight)

Remember, vote for whichever you believe represents all that that makes the center of the universe such a glorious zip code, the tournament outcome is in the hands of you, the stewards of the 02536.

First up we have the number one seeded White Hen Pantry, the home of the 2 a.m. Italian sub, facing off against the place where 90% of its employees live, the Great Bay Motel. This promises to be an exciting matchup, vote now!

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In the second game we have the king of the cut through, Homestead Lane matching up against the staple of Sandwich Rd. booze runs, R.J.s Variety.

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The third match up of the night will pit perennial favorite Seacoast Shores, against a staple of dome pieces across the zip code, Danny’s Barber Shop.

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In the final game of the evening, everyones favorite place to look at found art, The Dump, will take on everyones favorite place to look at Scorpion Bowls at 1:15 a.m., Golden Sails.

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That does it for the East Bracket opening round games, we will leave the polls open until 5 p.m. Saturday at which time we will post the winners and the second round polls.

The polls for the round 1 West Bracket will open tomorrow afternoon.

The first 02536 games start today at 5 p.m. (click here for details) Today’s games will be:

White Hen Pantry vs. Great Bay Motel

Homestead Ln. vs. R.J.s Variety

Seacoast Shores vs. Danny’s Barber Shop

The Dump vs. Golden Sails

Remember you will be able to vote the winners in these games and it will be much more fun if you have a chance to win! Print out the bracket below, fill it in and email it back to us at info@go2536.com or just email us the names of the winners you predict in each round…

(edit: If you send us your picks without the brackets please format it as below, with all rounds)

East Bracket -
White Hen
Rj’s
Dannys
Dump

2nd rd

RJ’s
Dump

3rd rd-

Dump

West Bracket-
Menahaunt
JR Brody’s
Central
3 Way

2nd Round -
Menahaunt
3 Way

3rd rd-
3 Way

Final
Dump vs. 3 Way —-winner 3 Way

Just copy and paste it and replace the picks with your own, thanks!