This week while conducting our 025threesearch we came across a craigslist ad that completely twisted our brains. After exhaustive pondering we still have no idea if this ad is real or not, it is that astounding. It is the type of thing you hear about at the water cooler at work, but it is always in some far away place like Arkansas or Boise.

Well today the crazy comes home to roost in East Falmouth. We aren’t going to post the entire text because you really need to use the link and see it in its full glory. If you have any history of health problems, please consult your physician before you click here for the full ad.

If by chance the ad has been removed you can click here for a screenshot.

Did you read it? If so, please place your hand under your chin and push up slowly to close your mouth, we wouldn’t want your brains to leak out onto your keyboard.

Folks, somewhere in East Falmouth, there is a Q-tip with Obama sauce on it. I don’t know about you, but for the next two weeks as I drive around town I will be eyeing everyone and thinking they may be the one. It could be your neighbor or, even worse, your roommate. Seriously, I just checked under the sink to make sure it isn’t in the house.

“If you look closely, you will see quite a bit of ear jive”

There should be a registry for someone like this. If you bring an Obama jived Q-tip into a town you should have to go door to door to alert your neighbors. The only thing creepier than a person who would retain this thing in their possession is a person that refers to ear wax as “ear jive”. I felt like I was sitting next to those two black dudes in the movie Airplane when I read that.

“My mom’s boss has a Chinese food menu that Obama doodled Bart Simpson on”

You tell people this? Which of the assumptions derived from this sentence should I fear the most?

1. That our president has time to doodle
2. That our president likes Bart more than Homer
3. That someone saved this
4. That whoever wrote this ad is allowed to use a computer

“It is rumored that dirty socks are also available”

I started that rumor.

We saved the best for last, this without a doubt was our favorite part of the ad…

“My mom is a hospitality technician at the Hay Adams Hotel in Washington DC”

Ahhh Ha Ha Ha… that sentence wins the “My dad is a petroleum distributor” port-chie award for most misleading description of a job by an actor in a supporting role.

Here is that sentence translated to East Falmouthese: “My mom is a maid.”

Sleep tight everyone, just know that there is an Obama ear jived Q-tip having lunatic in your midst… Or is it you?