big thanks to 3-Way lady for the pic

Oh Jake’s you were by far the oldest
and of course the best
those who didn’t know you
never would have guessed
How safe it was to booze your face off
once inside your door
since it’s pretty hard to fall over
in a stool that’s bolted to the floor

You were there when I was born
and when I turned twenty one
you were there on nights I hit the bars
and got kicked out of every one
I think of you every time I sip
a coffee from dunkin donuts
but never from the one who murdered you
fu%k those fu&kin’ fu#knuts!

There’s never been a finer place
to finish off a bender
Ted Kennedy would shut you off
before the Jake’s bartender
Eric you are a hero2536
for surviving such hard times
I cried myself to sleep the night
I first saw you at ninety-nine

Never was it a problem
to act like a total dick
where else could you smack your friend
with Bobby Orr’s old stick
Video games and vending machines
and softly spoken lies
told to the one girl inside
by no less than thirty guys

And suddenly you were taken from us
by a vicious bulldozer attack
so Insane Tony spent the night in your rubble
just him and a thirty pack
As they built the Dunkin Donuts
it was impossible to take
time hasn’t made it any better
I still miss my fuc$in’ Jake’s.