While surfing the Cape Cod Times website, we found an East Falmouth story as old as time itself. A story of overcoming adversity, a story of courage, a story of East Falmouth Ingenuity.

Here is an excerpt from the story:

HYANNIS — A Barnstable police detective was in “total shock” Monday night when, while patrolling Main Street looking for drug transactions, a 39-year-old East Falmouth woman jumped into his car and attempted to sell sex to the plainclothes detective, according to the police report and Barnstable police officials.

You know why this detective was in “total shock” right? Because everyone knows East Falmouth ladies are way too good for Barnstable losers. He could probably smell the 02536 awesome sauce on her and got all confused by her advances towards him. He’s used to dirty Yarmouth girls, not the top notch talent coming out of the 02536.

Here is a little more detail:

Before the officer could roll down his window to ask her if she needed some help, Kelley said that Azarian opened his door and “jumped” into the passenger side of his vehicle, even sitting on top of a set of handcuffs and other police equipment. Once inside, Azarian asked the officer if he was “playing” or “looking for fun,” the report said. Kelley played along.

This my friends is what we call proactive selling. While all the inept Hyannis Hos were wandering around aimlessly, our hero2536 was taking the bull by the horns and making things happen. They teach you this technique on day one at “Pookies East Falmouth School of Selling Nookie”, if a car stops within twelve feet of you, there is a 93% chance they are looking to pay for some booty. This is common knowledge in the 02536.

Here is what happened next to our lovely lady:

Azarian then stated that they had to be careful because of the police and directed the detective to drive back into the parking lot and to park at the other end, by the Best Value Motel, the report said. Azarian then offered Kelley sex for $100.

Folks Desiree Azarian should be commended. While other people are sitting home, complaining about the terrible economy and waiting for a stimulus check, Desiree is out creating her own “stimulus check” (if you know what I mean).

In these dire economic times it is refreshing to see a woman out there meeting life head on. We in the go2536 should all feel a great swelling of pride that we have such a hard working, go getting, upstanding ho2536 out there in Hy-Town representing us.

Somebody get that gal a shirt!