Well here we go again. The latest installment of East Falmouth getting the shit end of the stick. A little 025threesearch turned up a disturbing update on Selectman Brent Putnam’s personal website. Brent explains that Cynthia Botelho, who is a legendary steward of the center of the universe, contacted him concerning the cutbacks in hours at Falmouth’s public libraries.

Let me just say that I understand cutting back library funding is something we are all going to have to get used to, especially in tough economic times. I fully understand the irony of spending millions of dollars on a building that holds the same amount of information as a $500 laptop. Libraries still hold immense cultural value, it is just that they are now basically museums, their value is in their historic relics and archives. This my friends is not the point of this story, it is about the manner in which they are divvying up the cutbacks. Here is our first excerpt from Brent’s article:

The Main branch will suffer a 15% cut in hours, with an 8% cut in “student hours” (the amount of time the branch will be available after school hours), the North Falmouth branch will suffer a 23% drop in hours, with no cut in student hours, but the East Falmouth branch will suffer a 37% cut in hours with – get this – an 80% cut in student hours.

Uh, hello? Is there anybody out there? Could someone please remove the giant yellow school bus from above the 02536 because it is crushing us! The only solace we have is that it could be worse… the bus could have weighed a lot more if it weren’t for the 80% less students on it. Thankfully they now have 80% more time for things like crack and arson instead of learning.

People wonder why the Court Reports are full of 02536ers, well here is your answer. This is how it is in the hood, while kids in the other villages are eating cookies and developing healthy addictions to Webkinz at the library, our youngsters are out hustling in the streets so they can buy a loaf of Portuguese sweet bread from Family Foods and be lucky if they get to eat the egg.

Do you know how good they have it in the other villages? Here’s the big difference between us and them… they don’t even eat the egg, they throw the fu&*ing egg away.

My fellow good for nothing, criminal hood rats, here comes the kicker. This next part is probably the biggest FU that we have ever covered here at the go2536 so brace yourself:

Tuesday before town meeting, I spoke at length with a member of the Woods Hole Library board. There was concern over the suggestion that the the funds granted to the Woods Hole Library be transferred to the town library system.

I wasn’t entirely opposed to this idea, since the Woods Hole Library is open 30 hours a week, the funding given to them this year is the same as the funding given for the past two years, and they aren’t cutting back on their hours. In other words, there is no shared sacrifice. All three branches of the town library are suffering cutbacks to one degree or another, but not the Woods Hole Library.

Wow. Just wow. They’ve infected our beaches and now they have cut off the flow of information all in the name of their own benefit. We have lost 80% of our library time, Woods Hole has lost zero. While our kids are playing in traffic their kids will be cozied up to the fireplace reading the Communist Manifesto or The Book Of Tofu.

Sadly Mrs. Botelho’s proposed amendment failed, chalk up a big loss for the 02536. A sad day indeed, it is times like these that even a goat questions the fight, it seems hopeless in the face of such tyranny. Sigh…